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Hot Flashes, Murder, and… Tentacles?
Forty-three-year-old Ava discovers magic when her hot flashes start causing things to explode around her. Her best friend Pamela, a local funeral home employee, regularly attends yoga classes with Ava, but when their yoga classmates start dying, Ava thinks things can’t get any worse.
Then Pam goes missing.
Ava’s new upstairs neighbor, Garrick, is not only a jerk, but he declares she’s a venefica. A witch. And like it or not, she’s stuck with him for a teacher. Life only gets weirder when her betta fish starts talking and declares he’s her dead husband reincarnated.
It’s a crazy world she’s stepped into: balancing magic, finding Pam, and dealing with her clown of a teacher… then something dark comes knocking on her door, out for blood. On top of everything else, she has to survive. How does a fledgling witch cope knowing she could be the murderer’s next target?
EXCERPT:
Pam grinned, showing off the neon orange film on her teeth. She stuffed her hand into a bag of cheese curls and plucked a few out. “I caught a glimpse of him through my peephole after I wondered what all the noise was. He started moving into the place across from me last night. You know how thin these walls are. All his clomping up and down the stairs caught my attention.” She plopped one of the cheese curls into her mouth, and then licked her fingers. As she crunched, she offered the bag to Ava.
Ava took one and sucked on her fingers until she got all the cheese off while peering over the balcony. The silver top of a medium size moving man was backed up near the entrance to the stairway. Three men walked back to the truck and pulled out a large, red couch from another era. It looked Victorian, but she had to squint to see the details of the ornately carved frame and plush cushions. Three men wore identical brown uniforms as the truck driver. “Which one is your new crush?”
Pam’s eyes scrunched up as she bent over the railing, searching the parking lot for the new tenant. She arched far enough over and lost her balance. Pam tried to catch herself. As she did, the bag of cheese curls tipped from her hand. A shower of orange dumped over the railing along with her bag. Ava grabbed her shorts and pulled Pam back onto the balcony. “Thanks. He’s right there.” Pam pointed straight down.
A man with a face full of orange cheese curls shot them a murderous glare. He took off his glasses and wiped the cheese crumbs from the lenses. His black hair also had bits of orange in it. A bulging box labeled “books” sat on the pavement before him. Remnants of the cheese curls dusted the top of the box.
“Lose something, ladies?” a voice boomed from below.
Ava and Pam pulled back out of his view. Her cheeks burned and Pam burst into laughter as she slid down the wall. Ava plunked into a chair and laughed until her sides hurt. “Oh man…”
Pam sucked on her fingers and nodded. “Yeah. Shit, I lost my snack. Do you have any ice cream?” She went into the kitchen.
“I wish I had your metabolism.”
“Ehh, it’s a gift. What I really want is to shove a cigarette back into my mouth. Going cold turkey is a bitch.”
“I thought you quit three years ago.”
“I did. Eating helps. Patches and gum… nope. Tried sucking on toothpicks, carrots, a few other things,” Pam winked. “Nothing really worked so I eat. What about that ice cream?”
Ava caught her breath before she stood up, and her stomach stopped hurting. The laugh lifted her spirits. It had been a long time since she had a good one. She followed her friend into the apartment. Pam leaned against the counter, eating a spoonful of peppermint ice cream from the container.
“Want some?” Pam asked held out the carton.
Ava grabbed a spoon and drew some of the pink delight from the box. Someone banged on her door. She ignored it and took the bite with the spoon sticking out of her mouth. The person knocked again. Ava grumbled and opened the door.
“Shit.”
The man outside her door remained covered in the cheese curls’ neon orange residue, carrying his box of books. He held out an empty snack bag to her. “I believe this belongs to you.”
She took the spoon from her mouth, feeling a cold dribble of ice cream plop onto her chin. It wasn’t as important as the irate man in her doorway. “I-I’m sorry. My friend didn’t mean to —” A wave of heat crept up her neck as though a small fire had been lit on her shoulders and ringed her head. She tried to push it aside and focus on the man outside. Her stomach churned at the barrage she expected from him. Ava stepped back into the safety of her apartment.
“If this is the kind of treatment I can expect from my neighbors, then I’m not sure moving here was a good idea.” He gave her a once over with his cold, blue gaze and smirked. “I can assure you I won’t be darkening your doorstep. Good day.” He repositioned his box of books and headed back toward the stairs.
“Well, we don’t need you either,” Pam jammed herself between Ava and the door and yelled after the neighbor. She flashed Ava a smile and shut the door. “If I’d known what a prick he was going to be, I would’ve dumped a vat of honey and then some feathers on him. Now that combination is a bitch to get out of your hair.”
Ava’s hot flash vanished. She took another spoonful of the ice cream before putting it back into the freezer and rejoined Pam in the living room. “What were you doing with feathers and honey?”
Her friend started to answer, but Ava held up her hand and shook her head. “Forget it. I don’t want to know. I don’t think he appreciated you dumping your bag of cheese curls on him.”
Pamela shrugged. “He’s too nerdy for my taste, anyway. It looked like he had a tighter ass when I saw him through the peephole. You know…. I did see the neighbor who lives across from you. Maybe I should try for him!”
“Leave Dutch alone,” Ava groaned.
“Dutch!” Pam sat up taller and hit Ava’s leg. “You’ve been holding out on me! If you have a thing going with him –”
“Don’t start. It’s nothing like that. He helped me out with my tire last week. I don’t have a ‘thing’ for him, but he does have some amazing tattoos.” She couldn’t help throwing in a tidbit to whet Pam’s appetite and get her brain going.
Available on Amazon or Direct from the Author
